Oscar Wilde said, “Never do a thing today, which you can put off to tomorrow” Many of us very religiously follow this advise, even in those cases where we should not postpone it for tomorrow. Postpone we will, until reaching the crunch situation, where you will face the writing on the wall – do it now or next minute your neck will be dethroned from your shoulders’.
Why do we do this? Even when we know we should not be putting off any more, we do. Why?
There are a few reasons that persuade you from DOING.
You don’t like to do it.
You are afraid the result may not be palatable.
You are afraid your weakness will be exposed.
You are afraid of the reaction.
You are not deeply desirous of doing it.
You are not sufficiently in Love, with yourself.
You are not serious about your life time goals.
You are allowing temporary distractions to rule you.
You have unfulfilled desires ruling your mind.
YOU ARE A FAKE!
I will do it. I still have time, I will do it. Why do you remind me so many times, you think I am not responsible? I know what I should do, you don’t have to tell me. If you tell me once again, I wont do it at all, do what you want. Etc. are some of the reactions or responses you come with whenever you are advised DO IT NOW!
If you are really keen to avoid procrastinating, then, you continue to read it. But if you believe, “what the hell, I will do things only when I want, who cares what happens if I procrastinate”, then, please POSTPONE reading this further!
There was a newly wed girl who went to her mother-in-laws place. The mother in law said, “in our home, we do not buy rice from the shop. Paddy comes to us, we pound it at home to make rice, and then, cook. It is your job to pound the rice every day”. The daughter in law was stupefied. She had never even heard of such things as pounding of rice, but now she had to do it!
Cursing, every day she would toil hard at pounding the rice and was too tired for anything. A neighbour observed this and advised the girl of a plan which would help her overcome her distress. When the girl implemented the plan, her face was beaming with pleasure and the work was also getting done quickly. The mother in law was puzzled. She could not understand what her neighbour advised the daughter in law. Curious, she went and inquired. The neighbour said, “well, all I told her was if you don’t like what you are doing, then, the work never ends and you get tired. You must find some thing in it that you like and finish off the job, SO THAT YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT. When you are pounding rice, if you look at the labour, you hate it and the work never gets completed. Instead, you assume, whenever you are pounding the rice, IT IS NOT RICE YOU ARE POUNDING BUT YOU ARE POUNDING YOUR MOTHER IN LAW. It makes you happy and when you are happy, the work gets over sooner than you think”
When there is action, there is bound to be result, some result. You may like the result, you may not like the result. But being afraid of getting the result you may not like, not doing at all is not the right approach. YOU MUST BE PREPARED TO FACE THE CONSEQUENSES. First of all, list out all the possible results of your action. Then, prepare for action plan for each of the results. Then, whatever the result, you have an action plan in place. Implement it. This will help you overcome your fear of the unpalatable result.
Remember, when you are afraid of exposing your ignorance, YOU ARE TRULY IGNORANT. A wise person is never shy of learning. As such, he/she is never afraid of the people finding out about his/her weakness or ignorance. Covering up the weakness is a negative quality. Overcoming it is the positive approach you need. People appreciate those who achieve in spite of the weaknesses but don’t trust those who hide their weaknesses.
Reactions or responses are the biggest forces behind procrastination. Reactions could be of three types, Favourable, Unfavourable, Neither! If the reaction is favourable, you have nothing to worry about. If it is unfavourable, then, you have to find out reasons for this result and address those reasons. So, before you act, identify the reasons which may cause the unfavourable reaction and address those reasons first. Then, act. The secret is in the scout motto- be prepared!
If the reaction is neither favourable nor favourable, it could mean that the other person is undecided on the issue, it could mean the other person does not care. It could also mean the other person is afraid to come with response, being unable to judge your reaction to it! You may have to do a little probing and help the other person come with the response.
Some people pronounce big dreams, but are never serious about realizing them. They talk of becoming big, achieving big but their actions never support this dream. It is mainly because they do not have adequate faith in themselves. They have a serious conflict in mind. While their mind creates big dreams, their heart says they are unrealizable dreams. This conflict erodes their self confidence. But they don’t like to accept the fact that they cannot achieve anything in life. So, they make public pronouncements of becoming some thing big but never back up their statements by their actions. Resolving the conflict is the solution to this problem. For this, external help may be needed. May be, they should have a heart to heart to discussion with a trustworthy friend, a guide, a teacher, a counselor, with any one whom they trust.
Fall in Love, with yourself. This is the advise I give every one. Recently in one of the books I was reading, the author says, “unless you love yourself, you cannot love others”. Falling in love with Self is the key to Confidence. When you identify all those qualities in you, which according to you are good, your confidence level grows. If you focus on those qualities you don’t have, those weak areas you don’t like, then, your confidence is stunted. Therefore, do prepare a list of all those qualities for which you like yourself(never mind, others opinion, only your opinion should count here), and go through the list every day, you will start loving yourself more and more. This increases your confidence level.
Lack of seriousness towards life time goal is a consequence, more often than not, of the lack of confidence in you. If you start loving your self more and more, as your confidence grows, you will become more serious about your life time goals. When you love your self, you cannot help but value your life time goals. Valuing your goals is extremely important. They are your goals, after all!
There is a Sanskrit saying, “Lethargy is an enemy in the garb of a friend, Zeal is a friend treated as an enemy”. Comfort zone lulls us into complacency and we prefer to become complacent. May be, you need a shock treatment!
Years ago, one Winter afternoon, I was lying down on a mat, reading a book. It was cold and I was shivering, but was feeling too lazy to get up to go to the room for fetching a blanket. Suddenly, I came across a quotation in the book, which shocked me. It said, “Some of are so lazy, we prefer to lie and shiver, than, get up to fetch a blanket”. The shock treatment woke me up to action! Distractions are such negative forces that lull you into complacency.
Distractions could be anything. Watching a trash programme on TV, gossiping, idling out on the streets, romantic affairs without sufficient understanding or strength, boozing, drug addictions, sleeping and sleeping and sleeping…. Any thing that takes your focus away from your duties. Duties, to yourself.
Making priorities of your actions for each day is a necessity. Every day, before you go to bed, prepare the list of actions you would like to carry out next day. And before that, review your actions with reference to the list prepared previous day. You would have done some, not done some. Round off those you have completed, LEAVE THE UNDONE AS THEY ARE. Don’t carry forward it to next day. They should remain in the same list on the same date where you wrote the first time.
Every day, you review this dairy from day one. Then, you when you see such old entries again and again, you will receive YOUR SHOCK TREATMENT some day. Then, you will do it.
While prioritizing, you have to ask just one question – whether it helps you realize your life time dreams. In preparing the action plan, remember to provide for two things without fail – relaxation and wastage of time. Once you start working on this, in less than three months, you will find yourself happier, day by day!
Distractions are many times caused by unfulfilled desires. When the atmosphere around you is unpalatable, when your own performance is not satisfactory, when you feel the problems are too many for your tender shoulders to bear, when you come under severe stress, when you allow yourself to be influenced by others, when you are persuaded by some one to do some thing other than what you had planned for your self, you tend to suffer from distraction. If you are mentally strong enough, you will overcome distraction. Else, you end up as a slave to distractions or addictions!
Alcohol is never a remedy to overcome stress. On the other hand, it only increases stress. Unfortunately, lure of the drink is too high to stay away. Many reasons are attributed for alcoholism, most of the times, the reasons are cited are extraneous but never the real one – you are mentally weak, so weak that knowing the harms of it, you still accepted to become its slave! I have visited the bars many times, have been forced by many including my boss, have been persuaded by so many to join them, yet I have been strong enough to say NO, a loud NO to all these machinations! I am not addicted to any habits that may ruin my health, may damage my financial health or that may distract me from my life time goal. I have the mental strength to overcome any stress without taking recourse to any such escapist measures.
Yes, they are escapist measures. While alcohol and drugs may help you forget your worries, that is only a temporary measure. You may forget everything when you are under its influence but when the influence wears out, the stress hits back.
Any habit which forces you to back to it again and again, ruining the health of your body and purse, stifling your creativity, damaging your dreams is to be avoided. Indulge in healthy pursuits like reading a good book, viewing a good film,
Sexual desires are one such force which can destroy any resistance. Age also cannot fight this power. There is time and place for everything in life. We have to have restraint, indulge in healthy pursuits and a strong will power.
A strong will power can help you overcome any unfulfilled desire which affects your focus on your life time goals.
If your actions do not support your words, then, you are FAKE! Yes indeed. What you say is macro structure of your life. In the micro structure your actions must support your statements. Your behaviour, your actions, your inactions, your responses- all either support your views are expose your hollowness. When you are hollow, people will not trust you. People not trusting is not that important. But you should be honest – to yourself atleast!
Procrastination is not a totally negative force. It is required. Sometimes. But the paradox is, it is not properly analysed by people where postponement is required and where it is not required. In the student life, when they are not even standing on their feet, when they have yet to become self dependent, there must be procrastination in selecting life partner, while there should be no procrastination in the studies. But the ground situation is reverse!
This is just one example of negative application of DO IT NOW theory!
Review your life. Throw out unwanted thoughts. They are garbage. Don’t procrastinate when it is the question of your life time goal. Where you need not take a life time decision, don’t take it. There, you follow the advise given by Oscar wilde.
Never put off a thing to tomorrow, which you can do the day after. But what you have to do today, that, you do it today.
That is,
If you want to become some thing in life. If you want the people to wish, when you die, “too bad, he/she should not have died”
